I didn't go for school again today. The idiot who kicked the soccer on my back yesterday, hurt my back really badly. I had fever middle of the night while sleeping.

Anyway, Baby & I smsed each other. I wanted to go botanical gardens with him just for a walk tmr with him. So we're going, & he wanna treat me in a restaurant. (: cause he wanted somewhere nice & quiet. He's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! :D

I need to go to see the doctor now. Argh,my back hurts like one idiot now. Dennis's off to his friends house & maybe staying over. :\ Can't wait to see him tmr. Oh well, we're still lovers, but friends. Go figure. I love Dennis Yeo Wei Hua.

----------------

: didn't we love?

Had a change of plans with Dennis. Tmr we're gonna go Sentosa in the afternoon, (: Watch the sunset with him. After that we're gonna go for dinner in a restaurant @ Esplanade. :} I miss him so badly right now. He's staying over his friend's house tonighttttt. I feel real lonely right now. No one's home, im having dinner on my own. Mummy's gonna be in Genting till Saturday. Argh, everything I do now, it's all alone. I wanted to go down to Jurong where Dennis is now to see him & maybe have dinner with him. :\ apparently, he already has his dinner.

Hold me now don't bother, if every minute makes me weaker. Cause you can save me.

Looking back on the things I've done, I was trying to be someone. Played my part, kept you in the dark, now let me show you the shape of my heart. Will allow me to? :(

I still can feel what you're feeling although we're far apart right now. You're not really happy playing with them, cause you too, can feel how im feeling. I miss you, Dennis Yeo, I love you more than anything else in the whole wide world.

- edited 7.40pm.

I didn't sleep all night, I couldn't sleep. I just came home this morning. I walked to places I didn't reconized. I've cried so much & why does it hurt?
Dennis, I feel guilty don't you get it? :'[ I feel guilty being with you when I don't trust you as much as last time. I didn't want it to end this way.
You were pissed with me when you talked to me on the phone. I called you many other times, I didn't someone to be there for me so badly. Im sorry okay. :'[
words can't express my deepest apologise to you. I wanted to see you so badly after that. The biggest mistake in my life. I wanted to tell you something face-to-face. By then you already reached home. I was so heartbroken too. I felt your heartbreak.
Don't you know our heart still beats as one? :'[ Im crying so badly right now. I can't take it, I wanna end my life for real right now. But I can't cause I know you need me in your life. I can't take the pain anymore.

Why is your phone switched off since last night! :'[ I wanna talk to you so badly. You weren't there for me anymore. Im heartbroken too okay, it's not only you. Every hug and kiss yesterday was the last. & everytime we hug & kiss, the only feeling that runs in me is guilty-ness. It doesn't feel right to be here, Im upset with myself too. Till I heard your voice when I called you, you sounded so pissed with me, and all you said was "over then over lor."
that's it? I was crying so badly. You mean all these while you've been thinking that im immature in my thoughts & saying?? :'[
I don't have any hate in you. I STILL LOVE YOU, EVER SO MUCH & SO DEEPLY.
I didn't eat the whole night, I didn't sleep at all.

DO YOU KNOW THAT I WAS SO WORRIED FOR YOU? I MISS YOU SO MUCH OKAY. & your phone is still switched off now. I need you so badly. Im really worried for you don't you get it! :'[ you didn't call me last night at all, you didn't reply my smses.

I still care you know? Dennis, do you know! :'[ But now, you don't care about me, you're not even giving a fuck about how I feel. Im feeling guilty enough already okay. You've called me, "sickenning, annoying, irritating, idiotic, immature & someone who doesn't know how to love." If it's all true, im not worth for anyone.
Im sorry im giving you my fuckenning attitude. I've tried changing you know?? :'[ I really did! You could see that too. I still care okay! I really still do.
as I sit here typing this post, all the tears run down my face & all that been through my mind is, "Where're you Dennis? Im so worried for you." I wanna talk to you so badly. I wanna hear the sweet voice of yours.
It's a misunderstanding okay, & I know that. By the time I realised it, it's too late. I can't turn back. Then again, the only thing that goes through my mind is, "im guilty." :'[

Dennis, please call me asap okay! Im really worried for you. I don't want anything to happen to you. I NEED YOU! :'[

"Once in a lifetime, means there's no second chance."
-Feelings do fade. It's never there forever, unless the bonding is extremely strong like the atoms in a solid."

Rachel Ho the retarded ass.
I woke up like 9am due to an sms from Baby. Urgh, I have been waking up non-stop cause Baby either smses me or calls me. I didn't even have enough rest. I know he doesn't know im sleeping, arghhh, I find it damn annoying lah. I mean, it's not like I wouldn't call him or sms him when I wake up right. :/ not his fault anyway. I stoned like eff at home today. Im having a damn freaking bad flu & slight fever. Im recovered from my fever already, just that the flu is killing me. I used up 4 boxes of tissues already, & im left with one third of the last box. >.<
Christmas is coming, & I don't have any gifts of anyone yet. Kumar & I have to go shopping for gifts really soon.

It's over between dennis & I, i guess. Days & months with him were really great.
i don't wanna talk about what happened. Don't ask.
ps, i still love you okay. :'{ but you no longer wanna hear the 3 words from my anymore.

This picture is ugly, yes I know. I cried & I am still crying.