The ones who you love & care for, in the turns you down & pushes you away. I might as well don't bother about them anymore ):

I always say, I hate ______(name). But y'know something? I don't know how does it feel like to hate, really. I can always say, but the feeling of hate isn't there. No wonder my mom kept emphasising to me to be careful because I can socialise well with people & it's not a very good thing, It has it's bad points.. & that if people were to make use of me in any way, that I end up not knowing how to hate them.

Sometimes, I feel really tossed around by friends & family. I feel very thrown about. Maybe not by my friends who I mentioned in the previous post, but those whom I'm not very close to. :\

Gideon's really nice, we're talking on msn last night & he said he'll help me along the way. Isn't that nice? At least I know that there are people in this world who cares alot for me. I don't know, like if I were to take a long time being in this stage, I pray that he'll have patience with me. I am very stubborn when I'm having a problem. That is if you really know me.

God's really awesome. He cares so much for us, He cares to feel my hurt, that He went through all what we did even before we existed on this planet! Our problems can all be related to Jesus. Isn't that great? Jesus cares for how we would feel in any situation, that's why He was there as an example to be so that we'll follow His footsteps. God still look on me, with love although I don't really feel Him anymore.. He's forever faithful. We can say there's no such thing as forever, yup, in human terms, but when with God, there is a forever with Him. :)

But each time when I encounter a problem, I always, ALWAYS hesitate on my next move. It's really faith shaking. I don't dare to move forward, I tend to be more reserved & keep everything to myself because I'm always afraid of what others might say.

It's just like walking on a log that leads you across the river. Along the way, there will be times when it'll be shaky, but there will be a time when this frog comes up to disturb my walk. Let me tell you this:
I'M HIGHLY PETRIFIED OF FROGS, LIKE REALLY A PHOBIA FROM THEM.
I think that they're really dirty & ugly. Hahah, stupid big eyes -.- Keep starring and what's up with it's throat when it croaks? I wanna like burst it lah. (eeehw)

It's like this problem I'm having now, I'm facing a frog on the log & I wanna get across but I hesitate my every move because of a... frog.
I wanna move across, but I'm too afraid to, & the only option for me left is to turn away & move back. & that's like turning away from God.

I'm very very tired of the same thing over & over again and I'm very sure satan's not done at all. Argh! Okay, I shall not talk about it.

GUUUUUUUD NEWS! :D
MATHS PAPER1 TODAY WAS LIKE EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY!
There was this stupid question on percentage that took me super long to realise how to do it. I actually kept repeating to myself, "can do it one, sure can. Just think!", because it's a 4 marks question & I don't wanna just lose it like that, I know I've learnt it just that I forgot.
Last 2mins of the exam, I crack my brain on that question & BOOM! I GOT THE ANSWER :)

HAHA, I'm super happy with myself for today's maths paper :) I'm sure I'll do well for paper1! Paper2 yesterday went like crap. It was so tough? Mostly is because I forgot how to do most of the questions.. Oh well.

PHYSICS PAPER TMR :D Since 7 weeks ago, I've been studying for Maths & Physics man, I'm like super prepared now for it!
BTW, English went really well yesterday :) For both paper1 & 2, it went great! For the very first time, I finished the whole english paper2! Even in class when the teacher gives us class test on the same format type, I still can't finish it especially summary -.-
But this time 'round, I COMPLETED THE WHOLE PAPER :D still had time to sleep some more. Lollllll.

OKAY, OFF TO STUDY FOR MY PHYSICS NOW. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!