Everything starts with a choice.

& if we chose not to follow God, that's another story..
Today, I went to church & all feeling rather, not as happy. During service, I've made my choice to praise God & still sing praises to Him. I've made my choice in trusting that what's said in sermon, is what God will really do. I've made my choice to listen to the word of God. I've made my choice to trust that my prayers will be answered. I've made my choice to allow God to ignite that fire I had for Him before, once again. & I believe, He'll.

Though, I don't really still have that burning passion & fire for God in my heart, but I will not allow that to stop me from seeking Him. Never will I do that. I won't just let go of my God who's been there for me since I've came to know Him since 17th May 0'8.
I wanna continue seeking Him & soon, I'm very sure, He will ignite that fire in me, BUT it's up to me, it's still my choice if I wanna allow Him to.

Come to think of it, it was my choice to continue brooding over the matter of my friend who has passed away. Yeah, I am sad about it, but to this extent that it's destroying my relationship with God? No way.. But I can choose to be happy, I can choose to brood over the matter. Sometimes, it feels like I can't help it, really. Sometimes, the feeling's really annoying. Like today, after service, I cried like a mad cow. Why is it all of a sudden, I missed her so much though I ain't close to her? Even as we hardly talk, but she still plays a part of my life, it's like an incomplete puzzle now.

I told some of my friends this before, I said, "I don't care if I were to go to hell for anything, I just want you to be saved." Can I now live up to that after this incident? I pray that God will begin to use me mightly to be a blessing to others & to speak to others of Him.

Lord, I thank You for today that I have made my choices, that Lord, I still chose to worship You. God I know in every situation, there's a good thing out of it. God I pray that You'll begin to use me mightly. Use me Lord, to speak to others about Your love, Your grace, & Your power God. I know Lord, that You are always there for me right from the start when I wasn't even existing in this world yet. When I never knew who You were, You already loved me from the start.

God, whatever that's going through my mind & my heart, God I pray that You will see me through it, because I'm never going through anything alone, I know I have my God that saves the day. Somethings, I may never understand why it happened, but God, I pray that You will continue to speak to me & help me accept the fact that Mernel's gone.

Lord, I pray for my family, that even as they're worried for me, that I haven't been being myself lately, that God, You will be with them. That they need not worry so much for me, but God, still watch over me in everything that I do Lord. Watch over my parents too. I pray that God, You will use me to speak to my mom about You & that she'll come & know You more.

I pray for my dad Lord, I pray that You will watch over Him. God, You know what illness He's going through, You know how much he's hurting each day, but God, if it's in Your will, heal him Lord! Heal my dad from the various illnesses & that he will come to know more of You. Watch over his every move Father.

God, I pray for my sister. That she'll come & know You through me too! I pray that it wouldn't only be me to be speaking to her of the Gospel, but it'll be her friends who will speak to her about You Lord. Watch over her, Lord.
I thank You for what You've done in my life Lord. Even as this little faith left, God I know with faith just a small as a master seed, moutains can still be lifted & moved. Great things can still be done. Give me strength as I study for my exams, & Lord, help me become more hungry because I haven't been eating proper meals since the incident & help me become more sleepy so I can get my good night rest Lord! All these I ask in the name of Jesus, AMEN :)

Haha,okay the part where I said make me more hungry, & make me sleepy, is what I really want okay. Lol. :P
Alright, but just wanna end of by saying, that in everything, it's up to us, it's our choice if we wanna make that difference in people's life. It's our choice if we wanna do anything. But remember to always think, will God be satisfied?
Nights:)