I still have to sooner or later accept the fact that she's gone right? :\ Though, it's really unbelievable & it's too sudden.. Now all we can say is, "if only.... I wished...." It's too late to do anything now. But it made me realise that have I reached out to my friends & loved ones enough? I gotta learn to love to learn & love to learn to love.

Exams today & I guess I did alright. I've lost my appetite completely. I had counselling the whole day yesterday. I can't sleep, I don't dare to look into the mirror without my sister or anyone in the house with me awake. I don't dare to bathe without having my maid or my sister standing outside talking to me. I can't concentrate in studying at all. I'm too afraid to look out the window, I'm too afraid to look at buildings.

I really need God so badly. Honestly, I felt like I didn't know who God is when the moment this thing happened. I didn't know who's God the moment I heard about it. As if, I was never a Christian. I don't like this feeling at all :'(
I hate having this fear. Refrains me from doing anything I would normally do. I agree with Andy. "Where's God in the picture?"
It's true, God's not in the picture. I don't know why. I don't wanna be driven away.

I pray that tmr will be a better day. I haven't been eating a proper food/meal since Tuesday. I need God to be with me so badly.