I've studied so much, so hard.
This is my first time studying for an exam,honestly.

I don't know how to break it to my parents,really. I've been feeling very thrown off my family for a long time.
I studied so hard okay. I really did..

I failed my maths exam :'(
& I only passed 2 subject. English & Art. Physics isn't counted though I passed because it's under combine science with Chemistry which I failed so it makes my overall result, as fail.

Mommy, I'm sorry. I really did try to study. I really did, I spent hours each day studying, for 7 weeks straight. Please don't stop me from going to church, because I love church & it was God who changed me for the better,really. Mommy, I'm really sorry okay. I know you made it clear that you said I can't go to church anymore if I do badly, but honestly, I did do my best but it turned out to be the same as though I didn't study.. I'm sorry. You & papa always compare me to Jie which makes me feel really stupid everytime. Jie is smart, yes true. But I mean, everyone's brain works differently, can't expect me to be just like how Jie is,right? I know, I am just the loser in the family. You told your sisters that when you see me, you can vomit blood. I know. Jie herself heard it too. But mommy, please understand that this time, since I've came to church & know God, I'm changed both on the inside & out.
I don't know what's gonna happen after I tell you with my mouth, about my results, I really don't. Just wanna let you know, I worked really hard already, & it is my first time that I did, but I don't know why, my results turned out to be like this. I'm sorry mommy, I love you.

I kid you not. I am a failure in everything. I can't achieve anything that my parents wants me to, like my studies. I can achieve things that my parents don't even need me to achieve, like dancing.

I really wished that they'll just look @ my good points rather than bad. But I know, I've tried very hard. But it sucks to see that you've tried so hard, yet the results are still equivalent as to me, not studying at all.

Wanna know how I did for maths?
I scored a freaking 36 upon 100 for maths. Okay, a freaking 36 marks for Mathematics!
For paper2, as I said it was difficult, but I didn't expect myself to get lower than 25 marks upon 60. Well,guess what! I got 15 upon 60 for paper2! Argh! Paper1 was easier but I still failed it. No difference.

No matter how hard I work in my academics, there's no difference & my parents don't see that I've put in the effort because they base on seeing the results. But when I try my very best, they always say it's not enough. I mean, I've did my best, isn't that important enough?

This exam, I really did my very best. But I disappoint myself with my horrible results.

I'm not in the blogging mood right now. Bye.