Im making a vow now that I'll not sms or call Dennis unless I want my blades back from him, other than that, I will not call or sms him to bug him anymore. He doesn't have that trust in me, he doesn't have that love for me already.
:\ Made With Love scrap book that I made for him, gone to waste. Bye bye $183.
Even as you said to me on the phone that tmr night, you see if you could go out with me. What's the damn point? You clearly said you don't wanna go out with me on the phone already. & still wanna meet me @ night? Then you come saying you don't want just US going out alone. ?!?!?!
I don't know what im the world you're thinking, seems a lil' like excuses now. Yeah,you said I can go my playground there to meet you. That shows you care, that's #1, but if you did care about how I would feel, rather you tell me that you don't wanna go out with me tmr than to hide behind sayings like "see how K." You made me got excited & happy about tmr.


I so damn knew you're gonna say your mother's more important thing. Yes, it's true. Your mother what... But think, how much are you gonna see her compared to me? How many more times are we gonna talk on the phone before we really part for good? You wanna settle down, yeah I understand. You don't wanna meet me, yeah that I understand. But I don't know why you must hide behnd undefinate answers & get me happy and excited to an extent that I'll make something for you & you turn me down last minute & still say that you don't wanna go out with me? Yeah it's not your fault I make the scrap book for you what.. But if you cared about how I was to feel, you should have told me the truth.


I asked you why is it you told Annette how you felt about us that I didn't know of.. You said we had communication problems. You're such an awesome actor. Haven't I been trying to call & talk to you many times before & NOW?
Can't you choose a time to tell me? You know im always a listening ear to you right? That if it's you know me or not.
The time you started playing cabal, each time, I keep calling you, you're always playing your game! I gave you so many okay, SO MANY oppotunities to tell me about your thoughts & feelings, even NOW.
Soooooo, you have no guts to tell me how you feel so you told Annette rather than to me? Im not jealous, don't get the wrong idea.. Im the one wanting to know your feelings.


But anyway, if you cared, you would actually go out with me tmr. It's not that hard to tahan just one day with me that I can bring you joy & laughter. I CAN, but do you believe me? No, I don't think so. Yeah, you're gonna travel all the way to my place just cause I made that thing for you? Or because you really wanna cheer me up or whatever? I don't know, I really don't. Cause you care? ---> possibility. Lying to me & not telling me about your feelings doesn't show you care at all. It simply shows that you don't think of how I would feel after that, whether I will be hurt or not.


I don't really wanna brag about tis situation, but still. If you want me to wait for you, I will. If not, then im gonna let go. Cause im tired too. Even as I said I would wait for you no matter what, I have my limits. Maybe I'll just wait secretly in my heart where no one knows if I still love you or not. But I still do, I love you Dennis.


To some of you that might think that im just saying these to make him feel bad or like whateverrrr, think that Im saying I love you just "for fun". You might think I don't know how to love or whatever. Love doesn't have to have it's ways. Everyone loves each other in different ways & it's how the opposing feels towards the first person's love.
Honestly, i've did so much sacrifices for Dennis. Not what I mentioned under my reply to dennis about how I love & what I did already, but I feel that I DID love & show love to him..
But I guess he feels different about the way I love. I guess people feel that love has to be this way, that way etc... :\
Or maybe, Im not loving at all. :'(
I miss you.