Is it me or is this suppose to be a natural reaction from those who had a relationship downfall?
I really wanna know. :( because everytime when I see such a sweet couple, flashbacks, memories, thoughts, the love we once had, everything just comes back to me again. & I don't like the feeling at all.
Thinking about it, it hurts so much still. But somethings in life, aren't meant to be put together. I have to face the reality & truth. We're just 2 different minds that see things that are never in the same way. We're just 2 zig-zaggy lines that are going parallel. Parallel meaning we go together as 1, but think differently, not in the same direction,but differently. :(
About the monkey bar analogy, we couldn't hang in there long enough for the other to pick herself/himself up before the 1 hanging on, falls & everything ends. That's when we're both unstable, really really unstable.
But I guess that life isn't about who you wanna be with for the rest of your life, & even at our age, 15, we're still too young to think about it. I have another 5 years & that's when i'm 20, I plan to settle my life down, & at that age, prolly when I'm in the U? Maybe someone special would come, but for now, it's all onto God Himself, my studies, my family & lovely friends. Though, sometimes, I do miss you D. :(

We love, because God first loved & still loves us. We're the being the blessing that God has been blessing us. We're the once who spread the love, not the hate.
God is awesome enough for me, that I pray that, that feeling would last for eternity. That nothing else would come my way to replace that part of my life.
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:( okay, now amongst my real good & close friends, I feel sort of left out. Marissa, Shanny, Karei, Delia & Amos, they all have their love ones now. Boyfriends/girlfriend.
Ever since dennis & I the break up, I really can't bear to go out with any of those 5 people together with their boyfriends/girlfriend. :( I really can't. Because, emotional break down then takes over in me. I don't feel jealous, I feel happy for them, really. But, I miss those times I once had with dennis. Not the quarrels. But those really good times we had.

Look on the bright side? I miss getting hurt actually. Yes, sounds totally crazy that someone could actually miss getting hurt by their love ones, but I really miss it though I don't like it. Cause that's when I know that love was put to a test & that's when we know if we loved each other or not. I really miss taking care of someone, though sometimes it's tedious work but y'know it actually don't matter when you love someone dearly.
Fiq has a girlfriend, & ever since he had one, we've been talking alottttt lesser than we should be. On the 27th June of this year, it was our 1st year of friendship & trust me, I didn't go & "force" myself to remember the date. Ever since I knew Fiq last year, that date was in my head & that's when we're bestfriends. Well, he didn't call/sms me anything on the 27th, so yesterday during dinner with cell, I was still quite sad that he didn't call me yet. So I smsed him this, "Hey,i don't know why you didn't call me yesterday(friday the 27th) despite me smsing you. If you didn't realise,yesterday's our 1st year of friendship. I've been try'na call you everyday. But everytime you're not home even when it's late. Well, just to let you know, your girlfriend isn't everything in your life. When everything ends,who are the ones left there for you? Your friends. Prolly you forgotten about the 27th trend,i don't know. But whatever it is,i'm always here for you alright. Happy 1st Year of Friendship Fiq. Loves!"

Fiq called me just awhile ago. :) He told me he didn't have his phone with him -.- Yeah,so he told me to then read the sms to him. & after reading, he kept repeating that he's a bad friend. That I definatly disagree. Fiq's a great friend to talk to. But see, once everyone has a girlfriend/boyfriend, your friends who had a relationship recent downfall, ends up being left out. But coming to think of it, some people, when they ask (for girls) the guys to shoo off or ask a particular guy to stop liking the girl, once the guy do & finds someone else, the girl feels really crappy & horrible, like they wished that they never told the guy off.
That's not exactly my case. My friends don't pang seh me. It's just that, I'm always having alot of free time, & for them, they're free time mostly goes to their love once. :(
Mine just goes to waste to do nothing. That's when I start feeling that I miss having someone so close to miss. Someone who would talk to me on the phone at night before I go to bed, someone who sms me good morning, just someone for me to talk to when i'm free. :( Those all occured when I was in a relationship, which I really miss alot. I really don't know why am I like so emo-ish over it, but I really miss those times, alot. :( I feel lonely.
& all i'm saying is, I miss you dennis.

Anyway, I stayed completely at home today. Stayed on the comp, eat, sleep. :\