The fear of sleeping & leaving my house. I need baby so badly. I swear I would have lost my life if it wasn't for that last breath. The only thoughts that went through my mind was "I can't die now, I have to take care of Baby & he needs me." The horror of my lift, drives me into a trauma. Im extremely fearful of leaving my house without Baby with me. He's the only one who knows what happened & the only one who can make me feel so secured. The fear of leaving my house & my room, drives me into an insane madness. I can't stand it anymore, it's extremely scary.

Baby's still sleeping. I called him crying & told him what happened. No one knows & it's only between him & I. I cried and I needed Baby so badly. He's still sleeping from this afternoon till now. We hung up & he went back to sleep. I don't wanna leave this earth without saying a goodbye to him. I miss Baby so badly right now.

I kinda miss Baby sleeping next to me, but the problem is that I can't stand people sleeping around me. I guess im not used to it. I'll feel very tight & that when I sleep, I need space for my whole body to turn. I kept kicking Baby & whinning and I didn't know at all that I was doing those. I miss the way he hugs me to sleep. ): But even though it ain't my fault that I kick alot & whin, I pretty much regretted. When I don't get enough sleep, I get super cranky in the morning & I'll get irritated easily.
Baby, it wasn't my fault I got cranky okay. A girl needs her beauty sleep & Im really not used to having people sleeping around me. Im sorry Baby. But it really wasn't my fault. ILOVEYOU<3
Im tired right now, I keep blogging stuff cause i have really nothing else better to do. Im tired, but I don't wanna & I don't dare to sleep. I wanna talk to Baby. ): But he's sleeping. Im gonna wait for his call.